Apathy,


What was hard coming up wasn’t living off my tips, working 11 hours and then, spending hours on your computer tweaking my song until you fell asleep face against the wall. It wasn’t fighting against the sudden changes of temperatures that shut my body down, the low salary, the people always opening the windows of the bus in fall and winter against all common sense. The doubters, the hours spent standing that damage my legs and prevent you from dancing properly. The bad food, the housemates always there, having to practice singing in the suffocating cellar in summer, which then was freezing in winter. Nothing really mattered because, nothing was permanent, it was just temporary.

What was really hard was to face the constant resistance from people against truth, reality and fact. 

While as an artist I am a Truth-Dealer, As Amy Winehouse said,

“I don’t have any other choice than to be true. “

And I agree, however it goes beyond.

At work people are unable to recognize what reality affects them and how it can make their lives better and often, worse.
That lead me to the second phenomenon that left me amazed with disappointment,

People are apathetic and insensitive, worse than that they can’t even be sensitive to their own pain.

That’s unbelievable. 
People accept to be used and exploited and are happy with that. But as I just said, they accept. 

There is a huge difference between bearing something and accepting it. 

“This job is exploiting me” that’s a fact.

“I’m accepting being exploited by that job” it’s your choice.

People will turn emotional against me, but what I said wasn’t to not work, to disobey systematically, or to do a sloppy job as a way to protest. No, work the way you do, get paid and go home, be there physically but in unfair situations it is of your moral duty toward yourself to refuse the logic behind your oppression

Work and earn a living and bear everything, but in your mind refuse then question everything before accepting anything.

Or else you’re a slave.
To go back to my article Loneliness, although people cry and worship artists, I’m telling you in real life situations, not in your fantasies, you wouldn’t be friends. 
You would have to love someone dealing with truth, criticizing the work conditions you’re under, screaming for liberties, talking you into using your own sense. Unforgivable, right? 

Once again, people are too tamed and apathetic to see their own sufferings, but they spend the few days off they have watching Matrix and super-heroes movies, tales of rebels, anti-conformists and hero, are you making any sense. 

That was my struggle, once out of the cavern you cannot go back, you’ll try to bring as many people out as you can but they would refuse. At least they’ve got the cable there in the darkness of falsehood, they can see you shine on luminous tiny screens.
Much empathy, much sorrow
One love,

PB

Words,

People baffle me with their inability to control what they say.

The other night a customer came at the bar and asked for a Guinness I answered him,

“Sorry we don’t have any Guinness.”

And he answered to my great surprise,

“Uh, you don’t know Guinness.”

How crazy is that?
Again, I came at one table and asked,

Have you ordered yet?”

She answered,

“I think I ordered.”

What is it supposed to mean?
Another example I told to one of my coworkers,

“For my lyrics it’s easy to go from French to English, because English has three times more words.

He paraphrased what I said one day to another coworker saying,

“PB told me the other day that French didn’t have any word.

You heard it coming, the Pathology alarm sign.

Confucius when asked what he would do if he entered politics said,

“I would change the words.”

Controlling one’s words is controlling oneself. 

I think like Hobbes, my philosophical basis starts the definition of the words.

 That’s how you enter reality.

Having so many people not controlling what they say makes you realize how easy it is for the ones who control that to actually control people, namely the propaganda agents.
It requires self-control and wisdom.
Love 
PB

Lonelines,

Artists worst enemy is loneliness most of the time. What baffles the most is the discrepancy between how much people claim to love art and how little consideration they have for people with an artistic type of personality.
To go straight to the point I’ve been mocked and disrespected every time I told people that I was an artist. Especially at work. If you disclose that to and live and an artist (I mean by that living the lifestyle of an artist not necessarily living off art) people just despise you while crying listening to Céline Dion, banging they head over System of Down or cruising on a Charlie Parker song. You might tell me that they’ve got nothing in common? Wrong. They are all artists. And that’s the fact, artist are so despised (unless they succeed) that 

I pretty sure that whatever artist you worship and stalk on social media, had you met in highschool or at work you wouldn’t be friends.

And that’s the thing, people hate artists they say we’re arrogant, lazy, we should get real jobs, etc man I can expend on that and I’ll do it on another post. But we are resented because we dare to dream, but I think what people reproach us the most is to “strick out” and I you think that close your browser window because I’m about to slam you against the kitchen sink. Sticking out? Who sticks out in this world?

On a planet where each tree, and I did not stutter each tree is unique how much more each human beings with their contingencies of their lives should be unique. 

Some other people stick out because you want to look like everyone else, and in a world where everyone want to fit the mould being oneself is regarded as a revolutionary act of rebellion

So basically, by being yourself you should automatically stick out, but, you’re a sheep and you’re resenting because I’m simply me while you’re a copycat?

 Well hate all you want, being unique is just to be you, sucker.
I’m out,

PB

PS: with love

Bland

In England the food is so bland it is starting to depress me seriously. 

That month I had some extra cash and I gave myself that directive “buy anything you want” I ended up buying some almond milk and a Savse cold-pressed smoothie. I don’t desire anything in the supermarket, because nothing tastes anything.

Growing up I’ve realized that I value now more space and quality of life than, status hype and appearance.

 “Wow, I’m living in a big city dude, cool!” That’s not me anymore. 

Although, I think that Paris, though atrociously expensive, is my limit because this city inspires me a lot, but if I’ve got to spend one cents more I’m not buying it.

And that’s a shame because I dreamed to live in London, and then New York, maybe I’ll change my mind but really, no space, for how much!
Anyway let’s go back to England.

I don’t care how amazing this country is, the food is nasty it’s an embarrassment. 
I end up eating less, one and a half, two meals a day? Because I just don’t enjoy eating.
Some will argue that it’s just because I’m depressed. I am indeed depressed, and distressed. BUT, to soothe this state of depression I don’t any comfort food in the horizon. 
Having such a aversion for what I eat made me realize one thing

Humans are really nothing, what we eat, work, how we sleep, sometimes we go the toilet if the manager grants you that, that’s it.

I have trouble sleeping right now, but thankfully the manager was kind enough to let me go to the restroom. But the food was nasty. I realize that when one thing (or several) of your natural need is not fully fulfilled, it’s your whole being which is unbalanced. 

My currency, isn’t money but Human Potential over Time.

I realize that simply by depriving people from sleep or food you prevent them from living up to their full potential and to make the whole humankind progress.
That is why the western world maintain Third-World countries in debts, famine and deprivation. And that it is so hard to raise women and men to their full potential in order to overthrow these cockroaches.
But I’m also scared for the poorer in the western world, if I’m so affected by that now, how will it be in the future when people will only eat from monsanto 100% GMO garbage food. In what mental state will people be, will they have the mental strength to uprise?

Or is it on us to prevent it from happening right now in the first place.

Meditate on that,

Uprise,

PB

Entrepreneurs,


The 20th century didn’t end on December 31, 1999 at midnight, but at 9/11.
9/11 put an end to that century because the 20th century was the “American century”. The century when the USA took the leadership of the world over England and expended its economic, cultural and military domination across the world.

It was the first direct attack on the American soil, that introduced the “Era of Terror” we are still living in, with massive surveillance, loss of liberties, intensive propaganda and the rise of populism.
Although America is younger than most country of the old continent, 9/11 was like the loss of a father-like figure in the western world. In a sort of twisted desire to live under a patriarchy, the US were like the loving father that would protect us all. It’s a fiction, and obviously it is gone now because the rich found out that it is more profitable for them to kept the people in fear instead of offering them protection. True protection. 
The second major event of the-now, 21th was the 2008 economic crisis. 

People of my generation were all old enough to realize what was happening. 

I therefore thought that there would be a massive wave of entrepreneurs of my age. Instead of that in ’10s most entrepreneurs were in their 50’s.
But after a while I noticed two big flaws in entrepreneurs.

1) Most entrepreneurial ventures, when massively successful get bought by corporations.

Doesn’t it simply defeat the purpose. BUT I can understand, a big check and you say goodbye my homeland and hello Hawaii. Or you think you’ve worked enough, or, as it is often the case the company becomes just too big. And I respect that, it is just sad to see the soul of clever companies taken away by brainless multinationals.
The second flaw is a sin that no one can justify

2) Almost no entrepreneur change the system and the relationship boss-employees.

Most entrepreneur story starts with the romantic elements: “that was my passion”, “that was my dream” and very often “I realized I was a bad employee and therefore I needed to be my own boss”
And now you’re the boss, what does it change for you employees? Nothing.

You hypocrites you’ve become exactly what you were fleeing from. 

The whole employment paradigm hasn’t shifted a bit. You still have employees, managers, bosses, minimum salaries, capped salaries,income inequalities? 
So you’re giving big speeches, but what has changed?
People would dare to ask me “what can be changed?” Well let’s start with the whole relationship, you’re the boss, you, and you can do whatever in your business, then why not calling your “employees” employees no longer but partners instead? Because they are actually your partners.

Rich people have always opened they big drooling mouth full of worms without realizing the obvious fact that, if nobody works, they don’t make make any money.

So yes, they are your partners. Then let’s talk about salaries, the bonuses, maybe they’d get percentage instead of a monthly pay sheet etc

They are millions ways to change things, but one way to start doing it, that is, starting doing it.

But you hypocrites, you whitewashed tombs, what you want more than anything isn’t success, but moving up the hierarchy.

That is why for many getting from employee to successful entrepreneur was not a liberation or a fulfillment, but merely a change of class. 

The lower classes have a pathological need to go up the hierarchy of classes, without understanding that: a class isn’t only the money you make, (or steal, I’m talking for the so-called elite of human dejections) but 

a whole mindset, a vision of the world, a whole indoctrination that start from childhood.

No matter your earnings now, unless you renounce your humanity, you will never be part of the elite. You can’t just be rich, you have to be an utmost nefarious piece of crud, and be rich to be part of the elite.
Meditate on it,

Love for the Poor, disdain for the rich 

PB

Wasted Day,

Brighton, UK.

I never thought that depression could be something physical.

I’ve been so many times throughout my life in and out of depression that I became quite insensitive to other psychic pains. I thought if I could get over it, so can you. But that was before I couldn’t move for three days because of depression.
Once again I’ve been so depressed so many times that, getting back up has become a habit. Besides, and no one can disagree with me, the road to recovery starts with the right mindset. It’s like athletes who have been through injuries so many times that they exactly know in which mental and physical state they should put themselves to optimize their recovery. 
That was my take on it before, I experienced a total breakdown in Brighton, UK, that incapacitated me for three days.

I couldn’t believe it, me a “depression veteran” being beaten so badly by it? I think there might be so sort of limit to the the number of depressions you can have in one life. Firstly it attacks the mind but if you survive, you’re in the green, however if you use that trick too much, it then shuts you body down. And that’s how I felt

A total body shut down.
It’s weird, when both your body and mind collapse at the same time, you feel like you’ve reach 

The End of you existence.

It’s only because you still perceive the elapsing of time that you can think, “maybe later, I’ll feel better.” But

It really felt like the end of me.

How naive of me, haven’t I already witnessed that for the first time as a kid.
I remember my mother bed-ridden due to depression, I was 3 since my brother was still a toddler. My father wasn’t there. I don’t know how we survived, according to the legend we ate flour. I remember my mother in bed, and I remember in which cupboard my parents kept the flour, but I don’t have any recollection of me actually eating flour. That was my first Hunger story. But the thinking about that makes me very worried for my brother, how did we survive? He is tall and healthy now, but it’s probably a blessing that I did not understand how desperate the situation was. After three days my father came back I heard.

 Throughout my life, all I’ve seen is pain.

It’s probably why I’ve developed such deep sense of empathy. 

Feeling things has perhaps even become a sort of 6th sense for me.

But nobody could sense what I feel. 
Wasted days? I’ve known many of them, but even during “wasted days” I try to be productive. Create a little if mind my is ready for it, read a little, and imagining things, a lot, I guess imagination is the only thing you’ve got left when you’re down. But foremost, those days never last for long, they always end. So I’ve always got hoped for the future. Foremost if you are still honest with yourself you shouldn’t be ashamed of these days when you feel down, lonely in room your room. Because actually,

Lonely days when you feel down are often the best opportunity to reconnect with yourself.

Life is so fast, so loud, there is always noise, smell, people talking and interfering between you and your family, your lover and even between you and yourself. It’s always about going fast, do this, do that, no time to take a break when you’re healthy but when you’re down you are forced to halt. And somehow it’s a good thing.

Don’t be ashamed, but take heart tomorrow will be a better day.

The thing is, don’t dwell in depression like many people I met. I don’t know if it’s s true proverb but in Man Vs. Wild I heard this quote coming according to my memory form Iceland

If you are out in the snow, and you’re cold, sit down for five minute, and you’ll be even colder.

 GET UP.

The thing is not to be ashamed of falling down, but to be proud of yourself when shining you look back and say “I was right to get back up”.
Never be ashamed of your weaknesses, we are human. But take proud in your ability to get back up and shine.
I love you my friend 
Stay safe
PB

Noise-Canceling,


Noise-Canceling headphones come from a new technology (not that new actually) but it changed my life. This new way to listen, I was so used to have my listening space clogged with parasite noises that this technology makes me feel like I’m experiencing music through a closed wide big open space and that’s refreshing (if it makes sense)! The only downside is that I was so use to those parasite noises that I was putting the volume at all time, and as you know the louder a song the more our brains tricks us into believing that the song is good. So although I could listen more accurately to music I also ironically enough had the impression that the music touched me less, basic acoustic misconception. (Edit: well not anymore)

But foremost the mixing hack is that,

More than gears while mixing, the room you are in is crucial. Besides you can even argue that in a good sounding even listening on headphones feels better.

And that’s true. So that’s my hack , (good) noise-cancelling headphones can

1) make you feel in a familiar environement.

2) help you go beyond how bad the room you are mixing in sounds.

First tip! Woot woot!

Peace

PB