BCAA

maxresdefault (1).jpg

Once again I made my credit card burn on Amazon for a buy that worthy it, I find. I bought some BCAA pills, not that I’m the bigger gym guy on the planet, but I used it for a particular reason. It helps your body recovering faster after working out

And that’s the selling point, that’s all I care about.

More than appearance, I’m focused on performance.

The BCAA supplement probably acts like a placebo on my brain, but it makes me feels more confident to go all the way because I know that I want be sore, or at least that I will be able to train again the next day.
I don’t do heavy lifting (yet), I’m mostly working on my core, and doing pilates training and a few push-ups along with my dancing.
I find over time that in order to maintain my condition as a dancer I had to concentrate more on my core muscles more than on how my muscles look. In other words

What matter for a dancer is not how you look physically but how you look dancing

And the more I focus on these core muscles, the more they seems to “cement” the integrity of my movements, and the less I actually experience micro injuries.
I think it is crucial. Don’t get me wrong I will eventually be a gym buff (for my not-yet-met female fans) but  I cant go now because I’m not sure if I could be able to afford the increase of food  needed and  the balanced diet required to a proper mass gain. Besides I’m just too poor right now to go to the gym by bus. I can’t go to my local gym people hate me in my neighborhood, I don’t know why. And in the same time you do something different in order to meet different people isn’t it?
So in order to be sure to be in shape to work out everyday and dance I use BCAA pills, I’m really strengthening my core, it doesn’t look impressive but it is actually the very thing that will help me go the distance as a performer.

May it be in my relationship or on stage I always strive for consistency

I might injure myself if I only lift heavy weights, I’d look prettier but would it helps me improve as a performer?
I’ve always been for going to the gym, but for a purpose
The purpose can be anything, from getting more confidence, to health issue, to boosting your physical abilities, but it should never be for your ego

For your confidence, but not for your ego

Again, if you’re asking me whether or not going to the gym will improve my dancing. No doubts. But I have to know how and which muscles to work on as a dancer to not impair my performances.
Buff dancer have become a craze since the 90’s but, the very reason why have always question that is so obvious yet almost mysterious that it might come as a shock. I’ve always been wondering why putting such an emphasize on going to the gym while the greatest dancer of all time, Michael Jackson, never stepped foot in it! He was tall and thin and never had to build up muscles!
The reality is that,

1) Since he’s been performing from his boyhood he didn’t need to build up muscles since these “dancing” muscles had naturally developed with him growing up.
2) I’ve experience myself when I started working out like a madman to fulfil my dream to become a NBA star at 21 (haha that’s a whole other story that I tell you later, but still I’m proud I did this, that was a huge act of faith and it taught me the consistency I’m still applying today) I realized as a was getting weight that I was more explosive, but that I was losing my quickness (and as you know my dancing style is all about quickness) I actually couldn’t dance properly during these time, because I had built other muscles but also because I’ve got to “reset” some part of my body from time to time in order to dance consistently (but again that’s another subject)

But these BCAA pills, how can I say, they help me plunging back in those times when I was alone in the wind, dashing on the gentle slope of motivation to find myself in the deserted basketball court before the sun opened his blazing eyelids.

I can picture perfectly my yellow long-sleeve t-shirt over my turtle neck Under Armor winter “climacool” I think? To keep me warm. I was throwing shots with my frozen hands under the freezing rain, or was it not snowflakes in their childhood?

Or when I was alone in the court with no one to support me and that this place seemed bigger than me, but not big enough to contain my dreams.

It all made me nostalgic, the BCAA and their bland, non-existent taste have become my Proustian memory madeleine.

To sum up

I’ll always take the least impressive path to yield the most impressive results

and

Some things don’t help you doing something, they help you believing  you can do them

Maybe it was all a dream? But that is the effect the BCAA pills have on me.

Enjoy the grind!
Much Love,

 

PBx
PS: It also contains vitamin B6 that play a role for your nerves.

Memory Flower,

product_passionflower

Yesterday for the first time after almost 2 years, I finally just chilled and played video games. It’s not just playing video games that was so healing to me, but simply

the fact of doing nothing dealing with my work and not feel guilty.

That was a first in a long time. I was laying on my bed at an angle that I had never been, and it actually made me disclose a new side of my cupboard-like “room”. That was a thrilling experience. Time flew and after finally completing the mission I was stuck in for months in Hotline Miami 2, I took off bought myself a Brooklyn Lager and ate some fish. That was a great day.

I also had some passionflower tabs, this thing sort of relax me, which is pleasing, but I was expecting it to knock me out. To be knocked down by medication in order to sleep, that is what I needed during my first diagnosed burnout, therefore I thought that it was what I needed now. It wasn’t the case, for I had to dig deep inside of me to find the resource to battle burnouts anywhere, anytime without chemical medication. And this is what I did .

I’d like to say that passionflower has s strange effect on me, it makes my dreams very clear, but not any dreams, the dreams of my past. These pills seems to remove the hazy fog that covered my memories. I wake up realizing that I had erased some people faces, some events and some places from my memory. Or maybe was I thinking about those things every night!

But the agent of repression in my psyche would automatically zap any of my unconscious attempt at remembering the past least I once again fall into the perfumed yet cold arms of Melancholy.

I paused and pondered

Suppressing my past, was it the device I found to keep me moving forward?

I can’t help but wonder. But this pills definitely have had an effect on my memory, that’s why I hereby name them,

Memory Flower.

The funniest thing is that it taste mouldy. Like the face of a haunting ex that you held captive in a memory donjon for centuries.

It has the taste of rotten memories, at least it’s not bitter. How could the sweetest fruit give such a putrid dust, is that after all the real manifestation of “Regret”, this sarcophagus of flavors in the mouth?

I do not know, but at least the opportunity to remember filled my eyes with sugary tears.

So long,

Much Love

PBx