Take Off,

Mercedes-AMG-GT-Coup1.jpgFor the most part of my life, I had never been interested in cars. I had no interest in going to the gym, or anything that could over-express my masculinity. In the contrary, my friends and I were all some sort of “Eastern intellectuals”, indoor geeks delighting in music and girls. Girls. I think it is important to lay a stress under this word. We were all too afraid to scare women that we would have better traded our masculinity than hurting a girl (who were, especially at that time awfully easy to hurt, for some reason, go figure) . But it was only years later that I discovered that

For a man, his masculinity is his identity.

By the way I’m “manspreading” right now, at the very moment I’m writing this article. I hear it was a controversial term, for a controversial natural posture, but what is natural anymore on this planet? Oops it can spark controversy.

This is bullcrap.

And now that I’m leaving slamming the door from the Matrix, I realize all the time and efforts, money, emotional dollars, and intellectual sweat I poured in trying to please girls.

The reason why most of my friends and I were so almost idolising women is, in my opinion that

We either were all raised by single mother, or that the mother had a predominant role in the family or in the story of the kid.

What I mean by that is death, breakdowns etc. I’m not saying either that the male should dominate like a tyrant in the family but that in the matter of fact, it is not surprizing to see pathologic worship of women from boys whose family didn’t have a balance between father and mother.

Again, it is all about balance.

So we worked hard to be the most unmanly men in order to not scare women off, we were the nicest and compassionate,

The result? They hated us.

To be honest, we were not all nice, but still we tried or best to avoid the most “oppressive” symbols of masculinity. The answer?

“Oh I want a manly men!”

And they went off serving as sex object, getting pregnant and aborting alone, losing jobs and money, partying like zoo animal, aging before the time because of their lifestyle. And then after they’ve collected a whole boatload of baggages and sometimes kids, that they hit the wall full speed head first because they drinks and smoke that they come to saying “Hi Plan B, what about we having kids?” She says that to you who have been working hard to be in the comfortable situation your are in, or working towards it, and most importantly having the mindset, honor, freedom and spiritual elevation that you see fit for the man you wanna be. Your answer is simply

No.

I would never do this before, just saying no. That was something unbelievable to me. If she had a question, doubt, fear, hesitation, insecurity I was there to be the white knight and take the bullet for her.

Screw that.

And it made sense to me, but now I just wonder

Why.

What should I get from that? What did I get from that when I used to do it?

Nothing.

And although I was trying to be the most harmless guy (although I broke some hearts, but what? I should have acted like a prostitute and stay with these girls although I dodged bullets by not staying with girls that would have ended my life with a passionate crime if I don’t wanna have an army of tattooed blue-haired witches coming after me with their logic-defying speeches? Screw that. Screw your tattoos, screw your blue hairs, screw your foul mouths, get yourself some toothpaste for goodness sake!) No seriously what did I get?

I don’t know, but I know what I got when I took off. Freedom.

So now I manspread, again and screw you. I wanna hit the gym, my main answers to women are “No.” and “I DON’T know.” (and screw you also). I think about ME, MY evolution, MY needs, MY desires (and screw you, you’re welcome) But what surprized me the most is my sudden interest in car.

Cars have become the supreme way for me to express my masculinity, my emancipation and my freedom.

My dream car is now the Mercedes AMG GTR, with it I flee from this corrupt word, and go my own way. I’ll work hard for it.

Retake your Freedom,

S-A (Stay Awesome)

PBx

PS: I want the silver Mercedes AMG GTR though.

True Hero,

newsletter-naruto3

After I emptied the battery of my PS Vita playing to Persona 4 Golden (I’m stuck against Kanji-kun‘s Shadow, shameful!) out, I thought to myself, “Well, it’s late I should right something, yet why do I even care about apologising about my articles when I’m late, nobody checks anyway”? Well, that’s the thing dude. I recalled Naruto I told myself,

You’ve got to lead, even if no one is following you yet.

Naruto is my favorite character of all time (top 3 no doubt) he  was despised for years in his village because he had sealed within himself a fox-demon with nine tails that wreaked havoc and killed loved ones of the villagers.

I feel very close to him.

He had to fight alone, train alone, believe alone, dream alone, motivate himself alone yet,

His goal was to become the greatest, to be recognized but foremost to take care of everyone. Eventually he became a hero, a savior, a leader.

Lead even if no one is following you yet. Lead with your ideas, with your work ethic, with your honesty, with you vision.

Inspire people.

Love them like I Love you,

PB

Trolls,

haematobia-flies

I don’t have time for trolls, I pay them no mind, I give them the cold shoulder, serve in a cold plate, no stater no nothing. Short answers “no.“, “yes.” (the point is really important) “cool.“, no feeling, distance, despise, disdain, flat disrespect, fake politeness etc

I’m through considering trolls like humans.

You’re nothing but worms, feeding with my excrements. But I love you though, you serve me well, you’re my slaves after all. Keep talking about me, I’m making more money.

Well, I’m not making any money right now, but I’m preparing myself for when I’ll be famous.

In spite of all the violence, let love rule.

 

Much love,

PB

 

 

Unplug,


It’s really hard for me to unplug from work, life, everything. I feel like the elapsing of time is working backwards for me, it doesn’t go from beginning to the end, but from end to right now. And it this short window I’ve got to accomplish things that will have an impact for a very long time. I always feel under pressure, because something always happens. When I try to forget about the world boom, a Black person gets killed, war in the Middle-East, corruption from the politicians, another social reform is slashed etc I really wish to depart from this world, but I’m connected to the world. I’m connected to all humans –  wish I wasn’t. 

The other reason why it’s hard for me to disconnect is that, nothing is real. I mean nothing I do is real, it’s all in my head. I’ve got almost nothing tangible I can show people, they can see my tools, but the ideas, dreams, and even just the music I have in my mind just don’t exist in this world yet. Unlike someone building something I have no proof of the reality of what I’m spending so much time and energy in. I sometimes envy construction workers, farmer, CNMs (Certified Nurse Midwives, that’s a funny name btw) because  they can see the result of their works.

I’m sometimes tired of living in an abstract world.

I feel like Yato in the manga Noragami (excellent manga by the way) he is a god that will disappear if people stop thinking about him.

Likewise I feel like I always have got to be “plugged” to my work because I if I stop thinking about my dreams and ideas, they might just disappear,

and nobody will hear about it, and that would be very sad.

But still, it’s time for me to switch off, I even took nap today, believe that?

Love

PB

Pop,

B.o.B-Nothin’ On You (feat. Bruno Mars)

I sometimes feel like Kurt Cobain, rejecting the Pop world but desperately willing my song to be heard beyond frontiers.
That’s Kurt Cobain’s ambivalence: hating fame as much as he craved for it.
It’s about the same mixed feeling that I got for Pop music.

I think eventually, I’ll become a Pop act.

The lie I say to people is that “my aim is to make my music the new Pop” but what I mean by that no doubt if you ask my shrink is that I wanna become Pop.
Well, I’ll never suffer the fact that in spite of all the people they can reach Pop act don’t convey any message that could improve the condition of humankind. Obviously we need light songs, love songs, breakups songs and so on and so forth, but once offstage people with so much reach should commit to fight for certain causes.

So no, I’m not Pop, never was, never will be, if you think about that side of Pop music.

But…
I like big shows, big promotions, the deep pockets for expensive visuals that last (unlike, all due respect, the amateur videos on YouTube. Some are greet and pleasant to watch, but they don’t last, and how arrogant should you be as a starting artist to think that you can do the job of experienced talented video makers. Likewise you’d find that very arrogant if a filmmaker started to make music for a movie because he bought Logic for $200. Music is an art, and filming is an art as well, you can never beat an experimented filmmaker) professional photos, digital teams etc I like it as a musician, but foremost as a fan.
I’m appealed to anything professional, and when the artist could express everything they want to.
The truth is that I’m forced to acknowledge the effect of Pop music in my life. Pop music changes my life every time I heard a good song, great vocals, or amazing production. Pop music helps me leave my room, it changes my mood,it helps me fight back 

I always feel like Kurt Cobain shyly presenting About A Girl to the rest of the band because it sounded “Pop”

All my life I was listening to Pop songs like Max Martin, who started in a Heavy Metal band has always been studying Pop tracks on the side – he is now the king of Pop worldwide.
I sometimes feel like writing lighter song, but the burden of my mission weighs heavy on my mind. 

The people is suffering, somebody has to speak out for them, but if I don’t do it, who will? The responsibility is huge, but I embrace it with great pride, helping other has become my “raison d’être” my purpose, the only reason why I will.

But deep inside I’ve always been willing to do Pop songs, light things, enjoying life and carelessly let the future take care of itself. Instead of that I have to act, react, train and anticipate, besides I have to feel and understand the pain of each and everyone and fight for all of you. Till I die.
At work they were always playing the same songs, one caught my attention, I shazamed it (soundhounded it to be more precise) and found out that it was a track featuring Bruno Mars, and I hated Bruno Mars, because, I was jealous. You won’t find that type of honesty in most artists. He is now my favorite contemporary Pop artist, after me. And also one of my biggest inspiration. 

Bruno Mars’ vocals on Nothin’ On You saved my career as a singer. These choruses convinced me that I can always do better.

The whole track is a masterpiece, the production is impressive, the rap part is accessible and charming, I hope they won a Grammy for this song, or even more. 
What also really inspired me was the whole progression of Bruno Mars, from being an Elvis impersonator, to getting signed by Motown, working day and night to be introduced to Atlantic Records, grinding with his crew to songwrite constantly, ending up with dimes like Nothin On You and Billionaire, and then just taking off and be constantly good at it.
What conformed me is that, it took years. 
I don’t have to feel bad because it takes time for me, not only to gather the fund, or to know the equipment or my craft,

I takes time for some artists to know who they are.

I told my mum once “I can do anything” what I meant was “I can be anyone” on that’s the danger. That’s why I have to split who I am into several different PB. But also because I haven’t found any “art soulmate” that would complete me as an artist, therefore I’m feeling the gap myself with my own personalities. 
But that’s another subject, shout out to Bruno Mars and his crew

Much love,

PB