Take Off,

Mercedes-AMG-GT-Coup1.jpgFor the most part of my life, I had never been interested in cars. I had no interest in going to the gym, or anything that could over-express my masculinity. In the contrary, my friends and I were all some sort of “Eastern intellectuals”, indoor geeks delighting in music and girls. Girls. I think it is important to lay a stress under this word. We were all too afraid to scare women that we would have better traded our masculinity than hurting a girl (who were, especially at that time awfully easy to hurt, for some reason, go figure) . But it was only years later that I discovered that

For a man, his masculinity is his identity.

By the way I’m “manspreading” right now, at the very moment I’m writing this article. I hear it was a controversial term, for a controversial natural posture, but what is natural anymore on this planet? Oops it can spark controversy.

This is bullcrap.

And now that I’m leaving slamming the door from the Matrix, I realize all the time and efforts, money, emotional dollars, and intellectual sweat I poured in trying to please girls.

The reason why most of my friends and I were so almost idolising women is, in my opinion that

We either were all raised by single mother, or that the mother had a predominant role in the family or in the story of the kid.

What I mean by that is death, breakdowns etc. I’m not saying either that the male should dominate like a tyrant in the family but that in the matter of fact, it is not surprizing to see pathologic worship of women from boys whose family didn’t have a balance between father and mother.

Again, it is all about balance.

So we worked hard to be the most unmanly men in order to not scare women off, we were the nicest and compassionate,

The result? They hated us.

To be honest, we were not all nice, but still we tried or best to avoid the most “oppressive” symbols of masculinity. The answer?

“Oh I want a manly men!”

And they went off serving as sex object, getting pregnant and aborting alone, losing jobs and money, partying like zoo animal, aging before the time because of their lifestyle. And then after they’ve collected a whole boatload of baggages and sometimes kids, that they hit the wall full speed head first because they drinks and smoke that they come to saying “Hi Plan B, what about we having kids?” She says that to you who have been working hard to be in the comfortable situation your are in, or working towards it, and most importantly having the mindset, honor, freedom and spiritual elevation that you see fit for the man you wanna be. Your answer is simply

No.

I would never do this before, just saying no. That was something unbelievable to me. If she had a question, doubt, fear, hesitation, insecurity I was there to be the white knight and take the bullet for her.

Screw that.

And it made sense to me, but now I just wonder

Why.

What should I get from that? What did I get from that when I used to do it?

Nothing.

And although I was trying to be the most harmless guy (although I broke some hearts, but what? I should have acted like a prostitute and stay with these girls although I dodged bullets by not staying with girls that would have ended my life with a passionate crime if I don’t wanna have an army of tattooed blue-haired witches coming after me with their logic-defying speeches? Screw that. Screw your tattoos, screw your blue hairs, screw your foul mouths, get yourself some toothpaste for goodness sake!) No seriously what did I get?

I don’t know, but I know what I got when I took off. Freedom.

So now I manspread, again and screw you. I wanna hit the gym, my main answers to women are “No.” and “I DON’T know.” (and screw you also). I think about ME, MY evolution, MY needs, MY desires (and screw you, you’re welcome) But what surprized me the most is my sudden interest in car.

Cars have become the supreme way for me to express my masculinity, my emancipation and my freedom.

My dream car is now the Mercedes AMG GTR, with it I flee from this corrupt word, and go my own way. I’ll work hard for it.

Retake your Freedom,

S-A (Stay Awesome)

PBx

PS: I want the silver Mercedes AMG GTR though.

Mental Health,

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I find it crazy and really highly hypocritical that every media and government all over the world right now are talking about mental health after all the things they purposely do to mess up with our heads, mind and psyche.

The list is long : Propaganda, the entertainment industry, GMO, pesticide, food poisoning, sugar dependency, alcohol, drugs, war on drugs, lies for the media, fake news, wars, mass manipulations, collective paranoia, war on terror, wars, division between communities, low salaries, the cost of life, debts (which is the food of the rich) no prospect for the future for neither you or your children, capped salaries based of hours worked that force you to slave away your time and makes your employer control your life, rotational shift (which is, combined with capped minimum salaries, the closest thing to slavery), the infamous burnouts created by the government and corporations, orchestrated mass depression, surveillance States that (it has been proven) damage people mental health since they feel (and are) always observed. Oh and I almost forgot the pharmaceutical industry. And many other thing that, I sure forgot. So basically

The more sedated we are the better it is for them.

However, as they are responsible for he global state of mental health, why would they possibly attract people attention on it, shouldn’t they instead keep it low? Well my dear friend that’s the crux, they only open their big nefarious mouths because they have a plan in the back of their snake heads, and it is called

Normalization.

The madness of this word comes from its semantic itself. The two main meanings of the word normalization are

  1. to normalize, to make something “normal” accepted and common to people.
  2. to nomalize, people by injecting them with drug in order to make them more submissive, obedient, less creative and less inclined to rebel against the established order.

And this is the second meaning of the term that they intend to apply.

As I told you it has always started with the media, the entertainment industry, food, drugs, pills and worse vaccines as well as in the creation of psychological insane concept like the Child King that can’t never be discipline because he/she was right about everything from birth and who inevitably gonna be messed up as a teenager,

but wait! The government has the answer, give some pills to your kids, normalize the crap out of ’em!

Legendary A&R Johm Kalodner said something that really resonated with me (I paraphrase)

“They won’t be any Rock Star in the future because kids are all being normalized.”

Wow! Now that was a shock for me. I sort of sensed it but he just put a nail on the coffin of my little hopes. A few month after, I can’t spend a single day without reading something about mental health, on social media, in newspaper and even in the street!

So what’s the plan? You won’t have the gall to tell me it’s because you have our best interest at heart, that’d be a first. We know what you did, we know what you’ve done, and we know what you’re about to do.

So don’t lie

You’ve been poisoning the very concept of reality by your mere existence. Don’t say you care.

But YOU the people WAKE UP! They don’t care about us, they don’t care about our health because they are the very reason why we are unhealthy to begin with! They don’t want to cure us with their drugs because these drugs are the very poison they want to use to do control us!

Beware, it’s becoming crazy, and we are attacked from every direction,

But I have every all the reasons to believe that they too will think they are becoming crazy when, together and united we will stand against them and gather from all direction.

 

Stay Blessed

Much Love,

 

PBx

 

Gentrification,

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Gentrification is both a very logical social, cultural and economic phenomenon yet a very head-scratching one in the same time. The Middle and the Upper class, whose goal in society is to always look richer (to the point  debts  to look better off), are also the ones wearing jeans with tears, entering charity shop after people living in homeless refuges got out, or living in former poor part of the town because it is “fashionable” 

And that is the problem, living in those area isn’t an end in itself for them, that gentrification is so unethical. Gentrification although it is the coming of richer people in poorer neighbourhood is actually the culprit in the cultural impoverishment of those very neighborhoods. Today I will talk about how gentrification affects musicians and music-related subjects and answer to how gentrification will and has jeopadized music as a whole.

Let’s get back to the beginning, starving artists dreaming to live off their music can’t afford anything but a shotgun shack in a ghetto. Their impact over time benefits the neighbourhood which gets culturally richer and richer. Until rich investors seize the opportunity to sell businesses, houses and apartments to richer people.

Why their mere presence would be enough to degrade the cultural life of a place? Because it is a parasitic process. They just here to consume, they do not take a role in the cultural thriving of an area. They basically bestow themselves the right to stay in an artistic place not by adding anything to it, but in the contrary by consuming it

And like any consumer they expect a sort of “customer service” for a party they were not invited in to begin with. This is when new comers start complaining about the noise, and many bars and clubs have suffered from this. To be more precise the gentry has forced many bars and clubs to shut down while no one asked them to come there in the first place. This issue is so alarming for the future of music business as a whole since – now that everyone can make music on their laptop, the competition has never been so tough, however the former music business used to sign A LOT of artists because they had the money. Nowadays due to the illegal downloads crave, the iPod generation and the now streaming “revolution” the funds are nowhere near the deep pockets major labels used to have. The biggest and most alarming consequence is that people have started become more and more political, and started guessing their chances. By doing so they have ended up only signing artists that sounds and look like the last charting hits. Hence the feeling of repetition we’ve felt since the 10’s but really since the late 00’s. It’s the Pop loop. Everyone sounds the same and the whole world is happy. 

Conversely the live business has never been so thriving, BUT mostly for the big names. The problem now is, if label only signs copy-cat, how to get discovered? You guessed it, live shows. But how do I get to do live shows if the gentrification caused many clubs to close? You guessed it we are stuck.

The problem is so widespread in Europe and America that it can almost be called an epidemics.

Gentrification not only forces people to leave, but it also prevents people from living. One of the most important thing to engrave in one’s heart is that, artist moving to a ghetto to live off their art isn’t a choice, that’s a necessity. I repeat, artists have not chosen to be there, they were forced to because they are broke. And that’s the irony of it. Some people because it was “fun”, because it was “fashionable” decided to come in a neighbourhood they used to despise, invade it, impoverish the culture, have cultural hubs closed, and make the cost of living in this area go up. Their mere presence brings down the quality of life others. Now that the prices are up, people are forced to live in smaller tighter places, which will eventually damage the music business entirely. 

For instance if you want a rock drummer, you need space to rehearse every day, and you need your own space to train without bothering others. Thus gentrification will result to the extinction of certain type of musicians and even to the (many times) most important one, the singer.

As a singer, you need space. You need to be able to train everyday without always have to worry about one of your seven roommates who always seems to never work but can still mystically pay the rent. Knowing that there is always someone there can prevent you to do all your weirdest vocal exercises like the infamous “nay, nay, nay, nay, nay, nay nay, nay, nay” used as a way to strengthen your vocal chords, or worse it forces you to squeeze your vocal chords to sound quieter or to whisper which is the BEST way to damage your voice without noticing it. If you survived this embarrassing moments, you will probably not push as far as singing your own songs at full-power, which is the way you go on stage unprepared, you suck , you make no money, you go back to your ex-poor neighborhood which is now expensive. Happy life. At least you can get some comfort food, WRONG! As you know your diet is crucial for a singer but since the price of your neighbourhood went up thanks to gentrification, you can’t afford to pay for your groceries and this slows down a little bit more your progression in your career.

Other trends will surely crash with a huge bang due to the gentrification. The vinyls, the new “old” trends in hipster and the gentry. There is no way this trend could last over time because,

There is a mismatch between the real estate market and the vinyl market.

In other words. Vinyls that are flourishing in artist corners, take a lot of space. And the prices of housing is a lot more expensive, which results in people living in smaller houses (bye bye drummers), in collocation (bye singers) and in cubicles that can only contain one human being, and maybe a bed, sometimes (bye vinyls). 

But on the other hand, the gentry loves vinyls while contributing to their destruction, since less and less people will be able to make the choice of buying and be reasonable and the renting space of the music store will just eventually choke the owners. That’s the contraction of gentrification, it kills the really thing it came to enjoy. Exactly like a parasite. But parasite are smart enough make you unaware of their presence, while the gentry allegedly publicly violates everything that made the soul of a place. Therefore how could I designate them? They look like kids that after they play with their toy dispose of it, disregarding the chaos they brought. Gentrification really comes from an infant-like mentality but it carries something else.

Indeed, the most accurate term for gentrification is a “spacial and cultural modern colonialism” when people appropriate themselves of a culture and a space, drain its life and then sell it for profit. It is purely immoral, unethical and despicable.

You really have to be either a parasite, of a kid or a colonist (which is by the way an insult) to partake in this. 

To go further, gentrification can be seen as I said as a cultural, social and economic phenomenon, but to take part in this you have to be a bit deranged, as for me gentrification is a pathology. When child-like, greedy and egocentric parasites try to verify if the grass is greener elsewhere by ripping off everything of this place you know someone has some mental issues. And that’s not ok, Im calling them out. People have to stop accepting everything on the ground of the fact that they have got money. But I wonder if it is not the fact of violating a place they do not belong to that they enjoy instead of the pleasure of living there actually since, when they come, life goes away and they never seem to notice it until they sell it, for a more “fashionable” place. Does that provide them with excitement? Do they feel a certain pleasure by invading a place?I do wonder, it does not make much sense to me, all I know I that for the cultural benefit of our civilisation we need artists, but as, I quote, Mike Skinner of The Streets said, “geezers need excitement”.

Enablers,

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©2010-2017 pixielixa

My observation is that most of the time, the outcome of any opposition lies in the number of enablers someone has on his side.

Most of the time it’s not a matter of who’s right, who comes up with more proofs, better points, a better understanding of the situation etc whatever, it all comes down to the one(s) who’ll be standing there and be dishonest, gullible, mesmerized or simply dumb enough to say “he/she’s right” and allow the other to inject all their poison. Or worse, just do nothing, say nothing, blink or smile.

In many occasions people don’t simply do evil, they are allowed to do evil.

Enabling someone to keep on doing evil in all impunity, it’s a crime. By doing so you are also condemning the others to a live in a place of eternal injustice. It’s immoral and cowardly.

When something bad happens you either, step against or for, nothing else. The rest is bland justification.

To follow on that I’ll add that,

When you say nothing or do nothing while witnessing something bad happening, your hands are dirty as well.

Calling out someone who is acting wrong is a moral duty. May it be someone lying, being untrue, aggressing, rude, anything, and you can go from that to fellonies, misdemeanors or crime.

Moreover, we all do something wrong and err at some point, we’re human. What kind of friend wouldn’t call you out when you mess up some times? An enabler would just let you rot, by lack of concern, interest, because they enjoy seeing you go the wrong way, by cowardice or by flat lack of love. And you would pass on an occasion to be a better person.

You never need a “yes man/woman” in your life. You need someone who tells you the truth. When you suck, you suck, when you messed up, you messed up. Own up to it and move on, you always’ve got a second chance.

Yet what astounds me the most with enablers is that-besides why the girlfriend or boyfriend didn’t call out their partner for being rude at the shop, every time your friends teamed up to defend something you knew wasn’t true, or when roommates formed an alliance to tick you off- enablers, in a sort of masochist twisted game, enable people to wrong them.

And that’s crazy.

It starts small, at work you’re hard with your fellow-staff members, struggling and sweating with you, but you forgive the manager, then the owner, the “elite”, government, banks etc and there you have it, you’ve allowed a system to step on you. But in the same time you mistreat people like you, surviving like you, or the same class as you.

I’m not saying that capitalism came up because of the workers. 

Yet I’ve always been surprized to see how ruthless people were for worker just like them, celebrating when a slow staff member gets fired for instance. But they are the first to justify the bad result the manager had this quarter due to bad managerial decisions (and are willingly throwing themselves to the fire, for the sack of his/her highness) and it’s even worse for CEO. If the CEO tanks the business, steps downs threat to sell intelligence to a concurrent company and by doing so gets a golden handshake, it is seen as “skills“, as a “reward” and sometimes as “justice” (what the heck?) by the ones who are the really reason why the business is moving at all.

To conclude, no, it’s not their fault if the system is like that, but from a moralpolitical or economic standpoint, I can make this claim,

You are oppressed as much as you allow people to.

Don’t enable them to do so, it’s your moral duty. Because when you don’t enable someone to wrong you directly, you let the wrong-doers hurt somebody else.

We are all responsible, don’t be an enabler.

 

I love you,

PB

 

 

Monster,

Interviews with the Monster Girls is a manga I’ve been reading for months, but the anime version really encapsulates everything I like about the manga and enhanced the experience (which is as for me seldom the case).

I always prefer the manga version-it’s the direct expression of the mangaka souls on paper. Each strokes was destined to produce a certain emotion. The lines guide the eye from frame to frame, the composition of the story tells already a story. Sometimes the decomposition of a movement makes it more vivid for the imagination since you have to recompose the action in your mind. Each frame is like a snapshot of the climatic moment in terms of emotion, meaning and story-telling. But, some anime are great adaptation.

A colleague when I used to work at McDonald’s told me

I love anime, to see the work in movement with the voices, the music it really enhance the emotion

And she was right

I forgot how human manga were, and hearing human voices, seing the characters in motion and listening to the music that touches the soul made me realize how human manga characters were.  Indeed

We are touched by manga because of how human the characters, the situations and the feelings in there are.

That’s why some people mistake some manga characters for real ones (don’t do it that dangerous by the way!) it’s just that, in general, it’s the humanity in art that touches people. 

After more than a week and France I finally allowed myself to enjoy my vacations. I ate all day, played video games, and even took naps. I felt that it was finally time for me to resume watching anime.

I was very pleased to see that Interview with Monster Girls was the most popular manga on Crunchyroll at the moment, people got some taste at length.  I thus watched those episodes and I died laughing all the time. Although the romances between adults and teenagers is quite creepy (well it’s just innuendos, but still)

What shocked me is how “feel good” and warm this manga is, I was glad to hear human voices and foremost to see human situations.

I was pleased to see, love, joy, embarrassment, sadness, loneliness, characters being dependable, other shy or clumsy. Just being human, and it pinched my heart a little bit to acknowledge that alll these basic human emotions are nowhere to be seen now. 

Especially concerning women, this manga made me realize that what I love with women is when they are shy, unsure, clumsy, embarrassed, all the awkward situations that I’d discard with a laugh and a smile. But you no longer can see it now.

Man-made depiction of women wants them to be dependent and perfect.

Women-made depiction of women wants them to be independent and perfect.

What if I just want to depend on an imperfect woman ?

What makes us human are our imperfections, if you’re perfect then you’re something else. If you’re something else I guess you’re a Monster.

Meditate on that,
To the one I mayhaps, will love fondly .

 

I love you,

PB

New York,

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I don’t really want to New York anymore, I don’t really wanna go to the USA anymore.

The whole dream which has been free falling in my heart has finally hit the ground. From the true face of America with the institutionalised (and widely tolerated) racism, social reforms slaughter, the demonic inhuman all-powerful banking system, debts enslavement, the federal reserve immoral vampirism, the sovereign military-industrial complex, real estate cannibalism, the systemic pharmaceutical poisoning, death squads, a devilish mediacracy, the omnipresence of entertainment, disguised genocides? anyone? etc

It makes the United States of America the worst country on Earth.

But, still, I love America.

I love its ideas, writers, thinkers, spirit, energy. I love the first intend of the constitution, and I love the idea of liberty and democracy.

I doesn’t exist in America right now.

However I love these concepts and all those who defend them. We might not see that right now, and many of these big ideas has been thrown to the crowd to gain votes, they don’t exist in reality. BUT, although they come from lies, we can make them become reality,

We can make it happen.

Believe, learn and fight.

 

You’ve got all my love.

PB

 

Wasted Day,

Brighton, UK.

I never thought that depression could be something physical.

I’ve been so many times throughout my life in and out of depression that I became quite insensitive to other psychic pains. I thought if I could get over it, so can you. But that was before I couldn’t move for three days because of depression.
Once again I’ve been so depressed so many times that, getting back up has become a habit. Besides, and no one can disagree with me, the road to recovery starts with the right mindset. It’s like athletes who have been through injuries so many times that they exactly know in which mental and physical state they should put themselves to optimize their recovery. 
That was my take on it before, I experienced a total breakdown in Brighton, UK, that incapacitated me for three days.

I couldn’t believe it, me a “depression veteran” being beaten so badly by it? I think there might be so sort of limit to the the number of depressions you can have in one life. Firstly it attacks the mind but if you survive, you’re in the green, however if you use that trick too much, it then shuts you body down. And that’s how I felt

A total body shut down.
It’s weird, when both your body and mind collapse at the same time, you feel like you’ve reach 

The End of you existence.

It’s only because you still perceive the elapsing of time that you can think, “maybe later, I’ll feel better.” But

It really felt like the end of me.

How naive of me, haven’t I already witnessed that for the first time as a kid.
I remember my mother bed-ridden due to depression, I was 3 since my brother was still a toddler. My father wasn’t there. I don’t know how we survived, according to the legend we ate flour. I remember my mother in bed, and I remember in which cupboard my parents kept the flour, but I don’t have any recollection of me actually eating flour. That was my first Hunger story. But the thinking about that makes me very worried for my brother, how did we survive? He is tall and healthy now, but it’s probably a blessing that I did not understand how desperate the situation was. After three days my father came back I heard.

 Throughout my life, all I’ve seen is pain.

It’s probably why I’ve developed such deep sense of empathy. 

Feeling things has perhaps even become a sort of 6th sense for me.

But nobody could sense what I feel. 
Wasted days? I’ve known many of them, but even during “wasted days” I try to be productive. Create a little if mind my is ready for it, read a little, and imagining things, a lot, I guess imagination is the only thing you’ve got left when you’re down. But foremost, those days never last for long, they always end. So I’ve always got hoped for the future. Foremost if you are still honest with yourself you shouldn’t be ashamed of these days when you feel down, lonely in room your room. Because actually,

Lonely days when you feel down are often the best opportunity to reconnect with yourself.

Life is so fast, so loud, there is always noise, smell, people talking and interfering between you and your family, your lover and even between you and yourself. It’s always about going fast, do this, do that, no time to take a break when you’re healthy but when you’re down you are forced to halt. And somehow it’s a good thing.

Don’t be ashamed, but take heart tomorrow will be a better day.

The thing is, don’t dwell in depression like many people I met. I don’t know if it’s s true proverb but in Man Vs. Wild I heard this quote coming according to my memory form Iceland

If you are out in the snow, and you’re cold, sit down for five minute, and you’ll be even colder.

 GET UP.

The thing is not to be ashamed of falling down, but to be proud of yourself when shining you look back and say “I was right to get back up”.
Never be ashamed of your weaknesses, we are human. But take proud in your ability to get back up and shine.
I love you my friend 
Stay safe
PB