Alone

Sorry.

It’s been a long time, I’ve been thinking a lot lately. I sort of physically fell down a downward storm that crushed everything inside me but my body, although I feel it in my bones, something has died in me. It’s funny, it’s the first time I write like this, like I’m really lonely, like I’m really alone. Before? Before I was lying, I was saying “oh Lord, I’m so lonely!” But deep in my heart I still knew that someone was listening.

I was still waiting for someone to come to my rescue and hold my hand and hand me her heart and heal me in the end.

But that was a fallacy. Not only on the sentimental perspective, but even in the realm of comradery. Comradery?

Bullcrap.

You’ve got to realize that no one loves you, and that no one wants you here, or else them too would be penpalling with the stars in longing for an answer. No they don’t. They go about they lives. Pay their taxes, have kids, divorce, then die. That little glow was still very alive within me until that day when I said,

stop, I don’t need you to commit suicide.

And I died, I died to this world, that had never acknowledged me. I died from society and I drifted away not really knowing where to go. I killed that persona, filled to the brim with false hopes, charades and fairy tales, that the grand fakers narrated me time and time again. This is disgusting. Now I know that I am really alone, and that I can’t count on no one,

in three decades maybe they’d dissect my decadence. As usual art critics danse one death too late.

And I’m gone, who can even catch me after I evaporated and bring me back to the pen.

“Personne”, which in French means someone and, nobody.

It’s hilarious, you should laugh, this is what people do when someone dies, they one day smile, then cry, cry, then smile, then die. And people will do the same for them, until there’s no one left.

This man would be the freest man in the history of mankind, he would at length breathe the fresh  air of liberty, before killing himself in his turn. And what did I spoke of a last man instead of a last woman? Well take a walk plebeian.

 

Love (or something like that)

PBx

Take Off,

Mercedes-AMG-GT-Coup1.jpgFor the most part of my life, I had never been interested in cars. I had no interest in going to the gym, or anything that could over-express my masculinity. In the contrary, my friends and I were all some sort of “Eastern intellectuals”, indoor geeks delighting in music and girls. Girls. I think it is important to lay a stress under this word. We were all too afraid to scare women that we would have better traded our masculinity than hurting a girl (who were, especially at that time awfully easy to hurt, for some reason, go figure) . But it was only years later that I discovered that

For a man, his masculinity is his identity.

By the way I’m “manspreading” right now, at the very moment I’m writing this article. I hear it was a controversial term, for a controversial natural posture, but what is natural anymore on this planet? Oops it can spark controversy.

This is bullcrap.

And now that I’m leaving slamming the door from the Matrix, I realize all the time and efforts, money, emotional dollars, and intellectual sweat I poured in trying to please girls.

The reason why most of my friends and I were so almost idolising women is, in my opinion that

We either were all raised by single mother, or that the mother had a predominant role in the family or in the story of the kid.

What I mean by that is death, breakdowns etc. I’m not saying either that the male should dominate like a tyrant in the family but that in the matter of fact, it is not surprizing to see pathologic worship of women from boys whose family didn’t have a balance between father and mother.

Again, it is all about balance.

So we worked hard to be the most unmanly men in order to not scare women off, we were the nicest and compassionate,

The result? They hated us.

To be honest, we were not all nice, but still we tried or best to avoid the most “oppressive” symbols of masculinity. The answer?

“Oh I want a manly men!”

And they went off serving as sex object, getting pregnant and aborting alone, losing jobs and money, partying like zoo animal, aging before the time because of their lifestyle. And then after they’ve collected a whole boatload of baggages and sometimes kids, that they hit the wall full speed head first because they drinks and smoke that they come to saying “Hi Plan B, what about we having kids?” She says that to you who have been working hard to be in the comfortable situation your are in, or working towards it, and most importantly having the mindset, honor, freedom and spiritual elevation that you see fit for the man you wanna be. Your answer is simply

No.

I would never do this before, just saying no. That was something unbelievable to me. If she had a question, doubt, fear, hesitation, insecurity I was there to be the white knight and take the bullet for her.

Screw that.

And it made sense to me, but now I just wonder

Why.

What should I get from that? What did I get from that when I used to do it?

Nothing.

And although I was trying to be the most harmless guy (although I broke some hearts, but what? I should have acted like a prostitute and stay with these girls although I dodged bullets by not staying with girls that would have ended my life with a passionate crime if I don’t wanna have an army of tattooed blue-haired witches coming after me with their logic-defying speeches? Screw that. Screw your tattoos, screw your blue hairs, screw your foul mouths, get yourself some toothpaste for goodness sake!) No seriously what did I get?

I don’t know, but I know what I got when I took off. Freedom.

So now I manspread, again and screw you. I wanna hit the gym, my main answers to women are “No.” and “I DON’T know.” (and screw you also). I think about ME, MY evolution, MY needs, MY desires (and screw you, you’re welcome) But what surprized me the most is my sudden interest in car.

Cars have become the supreme way for me to express my masculinity, my emancipation and my freedom.

My dream car is now the Mercedes AMG GTR, with it I flee from this corrupt word, and go my own way. I’ll work hard for it.

Retake your Freedom,

S-A (Stay Awesome)

PBx

PS: I want the silver Mercedes AMG GTR though.

Mental Health,

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I find it crazy and really highly hypocritical that every media and government all over the world right now are talking about mental health after all the things they purposely do to mess up with our heads, mind and psyche.

The list is long : Propaganda, the entertainment industry, GMO, pesticide, food poisoning, sugar dependency, alcohol, drugs, war on drugs, lies for the media, fake news, wars, mass manipulations, collective paranoia, war on terror, wars, division between communities, low salaries, the cost of life, debts (which is the food of the rich) no prospect for the future for neither you or your children, capped salaries based of hours worked that force you to slave away your time and makes your employer control your life, rotational shift (which is, combined with capped minimum salaries, the closest thing to slavery), the infamous burnouts created by the government and corporations, orchestrated mass depression, surveillance States that (it has been proven) damage people mental health since they feel (and are) always observed. Oh and I almost forgot the pharmaceutical industry. And many other thing that, I sure forgot. So basically

The more sedated we are the better it is for them.

However, as they are responsible for he global state of mental health, why would they possibly attract people attention on it, shouldn’t they instead keep it low? Well my dear friend that’s the crux, they only open their big nefarious mouths because they have a plan in the back of their snake heads, and it is called

Normalization.

The madness of this word comes from its semantic itself. The two main meanings of the word normalization are

  1. to normalize, to make something “normal” accepted and common to people.
  2. to nomalize, people by injecting them with drug in order to make them more submissive, obedient, less creative and less inclined to rebel against the established order.

And this is the second meaning of the term that they intend to apply.

As I told you it has always started with the media, the entertainment industry, food, drugs, pills and worse vaccines as well as in the creation of psychological insane concept like the Child King that can’t never be discipline because he/she was right about everything from birth and who inevitably gonna be messed up as a teenager,

but wait! The government has the answer, give some pills to your kids, normalize the crap out of ’em!

Legendary A&R Johm Kalodner said something that really resonated with me (I paraphrase)

“They won’t be any Rock Star in the future because kids are all being normalized.”

Wow! Now that was a shock for me. I sort of sensed it but he just put a nail on the coffin of my little hopes. A few month after, I can’t spend a single day without reading something about mental health, on social media, in newspaper and even in the street!

So what’s the plan? You won’t have the gall to tell me it’s because you have our best interest at heart, that’d be a first. We know what you did, we know what you’ve done, and we know what you’re about to do.

So don’t lie

You’ve been poisoning the very concept of reality by your mere existence. Don’t say you care.

But YOU the people WAKE UP! They don’t care about us, they don’t care about our health because they are the very reason why we are unhealthy to begin with! They don’t want to cure us with their drugs because these drugs are the very poison they want to use to do control us!

Beware, it’s becoming crazy, and we are attacked from every direction,

But I have every all the reasons to believe that they too will think they are becoming crazy when, together and united we will stand against them and gather from all direction.

 

Stay Blessed

Much Love,

 

PBx

 

Gentrification,

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Gentrification is both a very logical social, cultural and economic phenomenon yet a very head-scratching one in the same time. The Middle and the Upper class, whose goal in society is to always look richer (to the point  debts  to look better off), are also the ones wearing jeans with tears, entering charity shop after people living in homeless refuges got out, or living in former poor part of the town because it is “fashionable” 

And that is the problem, living in those area isn’t an end in itself for them, that gentrification is so unethical. Gentrification although it is the coming of richer people in poorer neighbourhood is actually the culprit in the cultural impoverishment of those very neighborhoods. Today I will talk about how gentrification affects musicians and music-related subjects and answer to how gentrification will and has jeopadized music as a whole.

Let’s get back to the beginning, starving artists dreaming to live off their music can’t afford anything but a shotgun shack in a ghetto. Their impact over time benefits the neighbourhood which gets culturally richer and richer. Until rich investors seize the opportunity to sell businesses, houses and apartments to richer people.

Why their mere presence would be enough to degrade the cultural life of a place? Because it is a parasitic process. They just here to consume, they do not take a role in the cultural thriving of an area. They basically bestow themselves the right to stay in an artistic place not by adding anything to it, but in the contrary by consuming it

And like any consumer they expect a sort of “customer service” for a party they were not invited in to begin with. This is when new comers start complaining about the noise, and many bars and clubs have suffered from this. To be more precise the gentry has forced many bars and clubs to shut down while no one asked them to come there in the first place. This issue is so alarming for the future of music business as a whole since – now that everyone can make music on their laptop, the competition has never been so tough, however the former music business used to sign A LOT of artists because they had the money. Nowadays due to the illegal downloads crave, the iPod generation and the now streaming “revolution” the funds are nowhere near the deep pockets major labels used to have. The biggest and most alarming consequence is that people have started become more and more political, and started guessing their chances. By doing so they have ended up only signing artists that sounds and look like the last charting hits. Hence the feeling of repetition we’ve felt since the 10’s but really since the late 00’s. It’s the Pop loop. Everyone sounds the same and the whole world is happy. 

Conversely the live business has never been so thriving, BUT mostly for the big names. The problem now is, if label only signs copy-cat, how to get discovered? You guessed it, live shows. But how do I get to do live shows if the gentrification caused many clubs to close? You guessed it we are stuck.

The problem is so widespread in Europe and America that it can almost be called an epidemics.

Gentrification not only forces people to leave, but it also prevents people from living. One of the most important thing to engrave in one’s heart is that, artist moving to a ghetto to live off their art isn’t a choice, that’s a necessity. I repeat, artists have not chosen to be there, they were forced to because they are broke. And that’s the irony of it. Some people because it was “fun”, because it was “fashionable” decided to come in a neighbourhood they used to despise, invade it, impoverish the culture, have cultural hubs closed, and make the cost of living in this area go up. Their mere presence brings down the quality of life others. Now that the prices are up, people are forced to live in smaller tighter places, which will eventually damage the music business entirely. 

For instance if you want a rock drummer, you need space to rehearse every day, and you need your own space to train without bothering others. Thus gentrification will result to the extinction of certain type of musicians and even to the (many times) most important one, the singer.

As a singer, you need space. You need to be able to train everyday without always have to worry about one of your seven roommates who always seems to never work but can still mystically pay the rent. Knowing that there is always someone there can prevent you to do all your weirdest vocal exercises like the infamous “nay, nay, nay, nay, nay, nay nay, nay, nay” used as a way to strengthen your vocal chords, or worse it forces you to squeeze your vocal chords to sound quieter or to whisper which is the BEST way to damage your voice without noticing it. If you survived this embarrassing moments, you will probably not push as far as singing your own songs at full-power, which is the way you go on stage unprepared, you suck , you make no money, you go back to your ex-poor neighborhood which is now expensive. Happy life. At least you can get some comfort food, WRONG! As you know your diet is crucial for a singer but since the price of your neighbourhood went up thanks to gentrification, you can’t afford to pay for your groceries and this slows down a little bit more your progression in your career.

Other trends will surely crash with a huge bang due to the gentrification. The vinyls, the new “old” trends in hipster and the gentry. There is no way this trend could last over time because,

There is a mismatch between the real estate market and the vinyl market.

In other words. Vinyls that are flourishing in artist corners, take a lot of space. And the prices of housing is a lot more expensive, which results in people living in smaller houses (bye bye drummers), in collocation (bye singers) and in cubicles that can only contain one human being, and maybe a bed, sometimes (bye vinyls). 

But on the other hand, the gentry loves vinyls while contributing to their destruction, since less and less people will be able to make the choice of buying and be reasonable and the renting space of the music store will just eventually choke the owners. That’s the contraction of gentrification, it kills the really thing it came to enjoy. Exactly like a parasite. But parasite are smart enough make you unaware of their presence, while the gentry allegedly publicly violates everything that made the soul of a place. Therefore how could I designate them? They look like kids that after they play with their toy dispose of it, disregarding the chaos they brought. Gentrification really comes from an infant-like mentality but it carries something else.

Indeed, the most accurate term for gentrification is a “spacial and cultural modern colonialism” when people appropriate themselves of a culture and a space, drain its life and then sell it for profit. It is purely immoral, unethical and despicable.

You really have to be either a parasite, of a kid or a colonist (which is by the way an insult) to partake in this. 

To go further, gentrification can be seen as I said as a cultural, social and economic phenomenon, but to take part in this you have to be a bit deranged, as for me gentrification is a pathology. When child-like, greedy and egocentric parasites try to verify if the grass is greener elsewhere by ripping off everything of this place you know someone has some mental issues. And that’s not ok, Im calling them out. People have to stop accepting everything on the ground of the fact that they have got money. But I wonder if it is not the fact of violating a place they do not belong to that they enjoy instead of the pleasure of living there actually since, when they come, life goes away and they never seem to notice it until they sell it, for a more “fashionable” place. Does that provide them with excitement? Do they feel a certain pleasure by invading a place?I do wonder, it does not make much sense to me, all I know I that for the cultural benefit of our civilisation we need artists, but as, I quote, Mike Skinner of The Streets said, “geezers need excitement”.

Apathy,


What was hard coming up wasn’t living off my tips, working 11 hours and then, spending hours on your computer tweaking my song until you fell asleep face against the wall. It wasn’t fighting against the sudden changes of temperatures that shut my body down, the low salary, the people always opening the windows of the bus in fall and winter against all common sense. The doubters, the hours spent standing that damage my legs and prevent you from dancing properly. The bad food, the housemates always there, having to practice singing in the suffocating cellar in summer, which then was freezing in winter. Nothing really mattered because, nothing was permanent, it was just temporary.

What was really hard was to face the constant resistance from people against truth, reality and fact. 

While as an artist I am a Truth-Dealer, As Amy Winehouse said,

“I don’t have any other choice than to be true. “

And I agree, however it goes beyond.

At work people are unable to recognize what reality affects them and how it can make their lives better and often, worse.
That lead me to the second phenomenon that left me amazed with disappointment,

People are apathetic and insensitive, worse than that they can’t even be sensitive to their own pain.

That’s unbelievable. 
People accept to be used and exploited and are happy with that. But as I just said, they accept. 

There is a huge difference between bearing something and accepting it. 

“This job is exploiting me” that’s a fact.

“I’m accepting being exploited by that job” it’s your choice.

People will turn emotional against me, but what I said wasn’t to not work, to disobey systematically, or to do a sloppy job as a way to protest. No, work the way you do, get paid and go home, be there physically but in unfair situations it is of your moral duty toward yourself to refuse the logic behind your oppression

Work and earn a living and bear everything, but in your mind refuse then question everything before accepting anything.

Or else you’re a slave.
To go back to my article Loneliness, although people cry and worship artists, I’m telling you in real life situations, not in your fantasies, you wouldn’t be friends. 
You would have to love someone dealing with truth, criticizing the work conditions you’re under, screaming for liberties, talking you into using your own sense. Unforgivable, right? 

Once again, people are too tamed and apathetic to see their own sufferings, but they spend the few days off they have watching Matrix and super-heroes movies, tales of rebels, anti-conformists and hero, are you making any sense. 

That was my struggle, once out of the cavern you cannot go back, you’ll try to bring as many people out as you can but they would refuse. At least they’ve got the cable there in the darkness of falsehood, they can see you shine on luminous tiny screens.
Much empathy, much sorrow
One love,

PB

Words,

People baffle me with their inability to control what they say.

The other night a customer came at the bar and asked for a Guinness I answered him,

“Sorry we don’t have any Guinness.”

And he answered to my great surprise,

“Uh, you don’t know Guinness.”

How crazy is that?
Again, I came at one table and asked,

Have you ordered yet?”

She answered,

“I think I ordered.”

What is it supposed to mean?
Another example I told to one of my coworkers,

“For my lyrics it’s easy to go from French to English, because English has three times more words.

He paraphrased what I said one day to another coworker saying,

“PB told me the other day that French didn’t have any word.

You heard it coming, the Pathology alarm sign.

Confucius when asked what he would do if he entered politics said,

“I would change the words.”

Controlling one’s words is controlling oneself. 

I think like Hobbes, my philosophical basis starts the definition of the words.

 That’s how you enter reality.

Having so many people not controlling what they say makes you realize how easy it is for the ones who control that to actually control people, namely the propaganda agents.
It requires self-control and wisdom.
Love 
PB

Lonelines,

Artists worst enemy is loneliness most of the time. What baffles the most is the discrepancy between how much people claim to love art and how little consideration they have for people with an artistic type of personality.
To go straight to the point I’ve been mocked and disrespected every time I told people that I was an artist. Especially at work. If you disclose that to and live and an artist (I mean by that living the lifestyle of an artist not necessarily living off art) people just despise you while crying listening to Céline Dion, banging they head over System of Down or cruising on a Charlie Parker song. You might tell me that they’ve got nothing in common? Wrong. They are all artists. And that’s the fact, artist are so despised (unless they succeed) that 

I pretty sure that whatever artist you worship and stalk on social media, had you met in highschool or at work you wouldn’t be friends.

And that’s the thing, people hate artists they say we’re arrogant, lazy, we should get real jobs, etc man I can expend on that and I’ll do it on another post. But we are resented because we dare to dream, but I think what people reproach us the most is to “strick out” and I you think that close your browser window because I’m about to slam you against the kitchen sink. Sticking out? Who sticks out in this world?

On a planet where each tree, and I did not stutter each tree is unique how much more each human beings with their contingencies of their lives should be unique. 

Some other people stick out because you want to look like everyone else, and in a world where everyone want to fit the mould being oneself is regarded as a revolutionary act of rebellion

So basically, by being yourself you should automatically stick out, but, you’re a sheep and you’re resenting because I’m simply me while you’re a copycat?

 Well hate all you want, being unique is just to be you, sucker.
I’m out,

PB

PS: with love