Gomen ne!


Sorry I spent the day playing to Persona 4 Golden, (after my vocal training and my dancing though).


Love you though,





I’m not saying that Squall is a coward, he is one my favorite character of all time.

But, trying to be blind to the sufferings of others because one doesn’t have the strength to bear the pain of others, is cowardice.

And this is what Squall does at the beginning yet opens his heart eventually. Witnessing a video game character show so much courage in love makes me wonder,

Am I a coward?

Although I’m feeling every day the pain of the whole world, the big picture, I realize than I am avoiding the pain of the people right in front of me.

But if I am taking the pain of all the people I meet I’ll die before I can save many, because I’d lose my mind and my life wouldn’t have any sense.

However, I’m trying to care, and even Jesus couldn’t help each person he met. But I wish I could,

As crazy as it seems, if you love and want to save as many people as possible, you have to open your heart while closing it sometimes.

I wish to die of a broken heart, exhausted because I loved too much love.


Could you feel my Love?






The first time I heard the word loner was in the Walking Dead. I’ve always loved Glenn (Steven Yeun) he is one of my favorite character in the series, and I also love Maggie (Lauren Cohan) very much that’s a great name!

After I learned that word it seems to me that it fitted me perfectly, sometimes more than “lonely” because I’ve never really been lonely I’ve always have had a lot of people around me, but I still felt lonely inside thus my definition,

Lonely = physically alone

Loner= is being alone together

If it makes sense. But people may ask, “why so lonely” ? I found this excerpt on the internet and I think it sums up perfectly my feeling.

“Another theory is aspirational in nature: The smarter you are, the more focused you will be on longer-term goals, and spending time with friends is distracting rather than helpful.

In short, if you’re hanging out with me… you aren’t getting stuff done.”

Jeff Haden

Indeed, I don’t always hang around people because I hate them, but because I love to work on myself more.

I never do anything against people, I do things for me.

Meditate on that,


I love you,


Hard Core,

Sorry yesterday I was so adsorbed by my tracks I was mixing that I forgot to write an article! 

I looked like a hard core gamer barely moving in front of me screen (haha)

In order to repent from my sin I’ll write another article today! Sounds good right. 

But I wasn’t out there grinding for nothing. It’s not just a blog among x number of random blogs with someone telling their their lives blah blah blah-it’s a blog about music, my music, the music.

By the way 

“Hope” my first EP is coming this month!

I know you can’t wait

I love you,


Let’s Get Lost


I first saw this expression was in the majestic movie about the turbulent trumpeter/singer Chet Baker.

I’ve always thought of artists as masters of disobedience.

That’s why I’ve always respected  rebels/heros like Kurt Cobain.

Before coming in England I spent hours watching again and again interviews and documentaries about Michael Jackson, The Smashing Pumpkins and Nirvana.

I knew everything about them, not like a creepy fanatic but I could redraw the map of their artistic journey mentally.

I wouldn’t reject the fame, the awards, the show-biz, I’ve got to use all that for my  purpose. But I’ve dreamed so hard about coming somewhere, have nothing set, grab a couple of instruments, a few trustworthy friends, a lot of courage, a lot of guts, a lot of dreams, take the road and just get lost.

Nirvana’s journey was just my dream, not the episode when they beat Michael Jackson on the Billboard charts, but how they started-get your drums, guitars a little bit of instant noodles and clean socks and just go.

That’s the mentality I had when I came to England.  I wanted to meet with some dudes or dudettes, and take off, no care given.

All I met there were politicians guessing their chances.

That’s not a diss against England it’s a global phenomenon people want be the next internet buzz sitting on their sofa, they don’t wanna hit the road and go out there meeting with the People. And I find that a bit crazy it’s a flat lack of love towards the audience, the very people you swore eternal love to (only in your songs though).

So I naively showed up with my 90’s grunge boy mentality.

I hit a wall when I met with the senators and the parliament telling me I needed to have “professionally mixed, produced and mastered”. I had dream of playing sweaty bars where people flip opened  beer can in the air and even woman got mad bears (haha) what d’mean holding your soy latte, “professionally blah blah blah”.

I wanted it all dirty, but they asked me to clean the mix.

Though, well I understand now all tracks have to be ready to be sold. It’s not about the adventure,

It’s about the product, not about the song. But to get the song you’ve got to get the artist and to get the artist you’ve got to get the journey.

That’s what music (crooks) professionals forget. That’s why you can have people with no background, with no personality that just “get offered” hit songs and the music execs only read “hit songs”  they don’t care about the artistry.

But bland artists only leave blank pages in history.

Apart from in Billboard magazine.

Depth comes when you dive deep.

Artists with depth is what we’ll lacking right now,

“People wanna be a rockstar, don’t wanna live a rockstar.”

Bruce Flohr

Those who lack talent or confidence are guessing their chances, while those who commit will enjoy the last dance. Us? Let us us not forget what matters most, let us not be concerned about this sentence “wining or losing”, come comrade let’s get lost.





©2010-2017 pixielixa

My observation is that most of the time, the outcome of any opposition lies in the number of enablers someone has on his side.

Most of the time it’s not a matter of who’s right, who comes up with more proofs, better points, a better understanding of the situation etc whatever, it all comes down to the one(s) who’ll be standing there and be dishonest, gullible, mesmerized or simply dumb enough to say “he/she’s right” and allow the other to inject all their poison. Or worse, just do nothing, say nothing, blink or smile.

In many occasions people don’t simply do evil, they are allowed to do evil.

Enabling someone to keep on doing evil in all impunity, it’s a crime. By doing so you are also condemning the others to a live in a place of eternal injustice. It’s immoral and cowardly.

When something bad happens you either, step against or for, nothing else. The rest is bland justification.

To follow on that I’ll add that,

When you say nothing or do nothing while witnessing something bad happening, your hands are dirty as well.

Calling out someone who is acting wrong is a moral duty. May it be someone lying, being untrue, aggressing, rude, anything, and you can go from that to fellonies, misdemeanors or crime.

Moreover, we all do something wrong and err at some point, we’re human. What kind of friend wouldn’t call you out when you mess up some times? An enabler would just let you rot, by lack of concern, interest, because they enjoy seeing you go the wrong way, by cowardice or by flat lack of love. And you would pass on an occasion to be a better person.

You never need a “yes man/woman” in your life. You need someone who tells you the truth. When you suck, you suck, when you messed up, you messed up. Own up to it and move on, you always’ve got a second chance.

Yet what astounds me the most with enablers is that-besides why the girlfriend or boyfriend didn’t call out their partner for being rude at the shop, every time your friends teamed up to defend something you knew wasn’t true, or when roommates formed an alliance to tick you off- enablers, in a sort of masochist twisted game, enable people to wrong them.

And that’s crazy.

It starts small, at work you’re hard with your fellow-staff members, struggling and sweating with you, but you forgive the manager, then the owner, the “elite”, government, banks etc and there you have it, you’ve allowed a system to step on you. But in the same time you mistreat people like you, surviving like you, or the same class as you.

I’m not saying that capitalism came up because of the workers. 

Yet I’ve always been surprized to see how ruthless people were for worker just like them, celebrating when a slow staff member gets fired for instance. But they are the first to justify the bad result the manager had this quarter due to bad managerial decisions (and are willingly throwing themselves to the fire, for the sack of his/her highness) and it’s even worse for CEO. If the CEO tanks the business, steps downs threat to sell intelligence to a concurrent company and by doing so gets a golden handshake, it is seen as “skills“, as a “reward” and sometimes as “justice” (what the heck?) by the ones who are the really reason why the business is moving at all.

To conclude, no, it’s not their fault if the system is like that, but from a moralpolitical or economic standpoint, I can make this claim,

You are oppressed as much as you allow people to.

Don’t enable them to do so, it’s your moral duty. Because when you don’t enable someone to wrong you directly, you let the wrong-doers hurt somebody else.

We are all responsible, don’t be an enabler.


I love you,





Interviews with the Monster Girls is a manga I’ve been reading for months, but the anime version really encapsulates everything I like about the manga and enhanced the experience (which is as for me seldom the case).

I always prefer the manga version-it’s the direct expression of the mangaka souls on paper. Each strokes was destined to produce a certain emotion. The lines guide the eye from frame to frame, the composition of the story tells already a story. Sometimes the decomposition of a movement makes it more vivid for the imagination since you have to recompose the action in your mind. Each frame is like a snapshot of the climatic moment in terms of emotion, meaning and story-telling. But, some anime are great adaptation.

A colleague when I used to work at McDonald’s told me

I love anime, to see the work in movement with the voices, the music it really enhance the emotion

And she was right

I forgot how human manga were, and hearing human voices, seing the characters in motion and listening to the music that touches the soul made me realize how human manga characters were.  Indeed

We are touched by manga because of how human the characters, the situations and the feelings in there are.

That’s why some people mistake some manga characters for real ones (don’t do it that dangerous by the way!) it’s just that, in general, it’s the humanity in art that touches people. 

After more than a week and France I finally allowed myself to enjoy my vacations. I ate all day, played video games, and even took naps. I felt that it was finally time for me to resume watching anime.

I was very pleased to see that Interview with Monster Girls was the most popular manga on Crunchyroll at the moment, people got some taste at length.  I thus watched those episodes and I died laughing all the time. Although the romances between adults and teenagers is quite creepy (well it’s just innuendos, but still)

What shocked me is how “feel good” and warm this manga is, I was glad to hear human voices and foremost to see human situations.

I was pleased to see, love, joy, embarrassment, sadness, loneliness, characters being dependable, other shy or clumsy. Just being human, and it pinched my heart a little bit to acknowledge that alll these basic human emotions are nowhere to be seen now. 

Especially concerning women, this manga made me realize that what I love with women is when they are shy, unsure, clumsy, embarrassed, all the awkward situations that I’d discard with a laugh and a smile. But you no longer can see it now.

Man-made depiction of women wants them to be dependent and perfect.

Women-made depiction of women wants them to be independent and perfect.

What if I just want to depend on an imperfect woman ?

What makes us human are our imperfections, if you’re perfect then you’re something else. If you’re something else I guess you’re a Monster.

Meditate on that,
To the one I mayhaps, will love fondly .


I love you,